So I am just going to type what we did because I don’t have the heart to completely get into the internship again.

Friday was a good day off. Most of it was spent getting ready to leave and painting pots. We went to pizza one last time with Robbie, Charlie, Richard, and Margaret. We got to ride in Richard’s mustang. I am never going to buy one of those. I don’t fit. The pizza was the same, but it was good to get to see them one last time, and to go out like a family again. 

That night Caitlyn, Jake and I went to VooDoo Donuts. It was not worth the sugar intake, but definitely worth the hang out time. We tried to go watch the meteor shower, but the moon was too bright. We ended up just sitting around and talking in the bed of my truck. Sitting there made me think about how much I am going to miss both of them. Jake was a great built-in playmate for the summer. I am really quite jealous Caitlyn and Jake both go to college in the LA area. They get to hang out while I am freezing in the snows of Montana. Guess I’ll just need to make a trip down South this spring break or something.

Saturday was the beginning of one of the hardest weekends I’ve had. Caitlyn and I went to the Saturday Market in Portland one last time. We both bought paintings. I probably shouldn’t have spend so much, but it was worth it. 

That afternoon I ran through my sermon one last time, and got ready to go. Caitlyn’s family decided to come Saturday night, and they got to hear my sermon. It went really well, or at least I think that is what the tears meant. The service felt great and muted at the same time. I could feel the sense of sadness at leaving in both Caitlyn and me, but also the congregation. I managed not to cry until Beth did our sending. The laying on of the hands moment always gets to me.

That night, we had our last family dinner together. Sad to see it end. Not going to write more about that or I might cry again.

Sunday was a whirlwind. I got everything in my truck before service, and then it was time to go all too soon. 

The services went well. My sermon got people to cry a lot in all of them. I managed not to cry until the last time. It was because I looked out at Robbie and Charlie. They are definitely like parents to me now. I made a lot of jokes, got tears to flow, got the choir to join in during the first service, got an “Amen” and applause in the last service, and finished my final sermon for a while.  It feels like I have left my first call, and I’m not even a pastor yet. 

Saying goodbye was the worst. I managed not to cry again, but I felt like I was walking away from such an amazing family of people. I have never felt so at home in a church before. Barb got me to shed a couple tears. She will be greatly missed. Her excitement and love for God is breathtaking. Mike, Kate, and George almost got me going. They were too good to me. Saying goodbye to David was hard too. I never know what words to use in a moment like goodbye. How do I express what each person meant to me? Messiah gave us plaques, QUILTS, and gas money (Lots). They were all so generous. On my way out the doors, I turned and said if they ever needed a pastor after the next 7 years, look me up. They said they definitely would. I am sure they were being nice, but here’s hoping!

The “Family” and the families went out for Mexican food as a goodbye lunch. We gave Charlie and Robbie their big pot with our hand prints and a quote: “Family isn’t about whose blood you have. It’s about who you care about.” I really like that quote. Shame that it comes from South Park, but it is still really good. They also loved our card. It had a picture of a butt covered in grass, and the inside said “Muchos grassy ass.” It’s their sense of humor. 

Leaving was hard. I hugged Charlie and Robbie, said goodbye to Cailtyn’s family, said bye to my family, and finally to Caitlyn. She was last because I didn’t wanna say goodbye. When she came up for a hug the first time I told her to wait until we got to the cars. I wish I had known more what to say. The hug was all I had. I hope it told you everything, Caitlyn. You have been my best friend over the past few months, and I am going to miss you and your laughter, jokes, hugs, dance shows, art skills, and everything else that makes you you. I still don’t know how to tell you how I feel. Raya <3

Then I drove six hours by myself, listening to Switchfoot, Tenth Ave North, Jon Foreman, and Tangled Blue all the way home. Walked into an empty house, and felt an overwhelming sense of loss. I called Robbie and Charlie to tell them I made it home safely. We talked for almost a half-hour. Nearly cried on the phone. Felt like I was talking to my mom.

I found it fitting that it started raining when I got home and was feeling down. I owe Ben, Ty, and Lydia for helping to pick me up again.

Now I am back in normal routine, but not happy about it. I am going to end this post before I get too involved.

Messiah was the adventure of a lifetime. Thanks be to God. AMEN.

Peace,

-K

Wednesday’s college night was fun. We ended up talking about finances and money. I wish I had had more knowledge about it going in. Couple of the incoming freshman expressed the same thought. We should of done it I guess. Shoulda woulda coulda…

After college night, I headed over to Pastor Martha’s house for my final spiritual direction meeting. She is a delightful woman to talk to. I feel like she kind of was another less often intern support person. I am sad we only got to meet twice. Schedules for two church employees just won’t line up!

After the meeting with Martha, I headed home. The phone rang around 9:15. That never happens. It was Dave Moore. He called to inform me the construction guys had cut a major power line that day, and the alarm system no longer worked. They could fix it, but not until the next morning if we didn’t want to pay $1000. Anyway, he asked if I would be willing to pull guard duty. Well, I can’t say no to Dave. Caitlyn said she would come along. We were there in the church from midnight until 6:30am. It was one long, tiring shift. I would walk around the church every half hour to an hour, we watched Veggie Tales DVDs, I scared Caitlyn a couple times (most times by accident!), etc.

Have to say, churches are the creepiest buildings ever. Even with all the lights on I still felt spooked. One time I was in the fellowship hall with a flashlight and scared myself because the reflection in the sliding door looked like there was another flashlight outside! The building was groaning and creaking all night. By 3am I was just too tired to think it was creepy anymore. Caitlyn dozed for a couple minutes, but for the most part stayed awake with me all night. It was great seeing Dave in the morning.

So Caitlyn and I went home and caught maybe three hours of sleep. After that, it was back to the office. Today was all about wrapping up loose ends. I did my farewell article for the Sounds (Messiah’s newsletter) and edited my sermon. Peter sent me his comments through Word. HE LIKED MY SERMON!!!! He even said it could stand alone without his suggestions. I used all of them, but I was so proud. He even said I have great promise as a preacher!!! Peter’s approval means a lot to me. I was dancing in the office when I read his email.

Do have to mention my favorite comment Peter made on my sermon. At one point I mixed up I and me. I don’t normally have that problem, but I guess I just missed it. Well, he caught it and wrote that he was only correcting it because, if he didn’t, Robbie would! I told that to her and she laughed so hard about it.

The hard part of the day was editing my sermon and doing my Sounds article. I almost started crying right in the office. Saturday and Sunday are going to be interesting with my sermon. I think I will be able to hold it together for at least the first service, but the rest are fair game for tears.

The hardest part of the day was cleaning out the office. It was emotional packing everything up. I didn’t cry, but I had this weird feeling of contentment and overwhelming emptiness. Even though Caitlyn and I only spent a month and a half in the house office, I am still sad to see it go. I really don’t want to leave!

Caitlyn and I took Robbie and Charlie out to dinner tonight to say thank you for the wonderful summer and for thanksgiving of the family we have created. They have been the best support a person could ask for. I just wish I would get to stay a bit longer. I’m going to stop before I cry…

So after working Midnight-6am, 11am-3pm, and then preparing the staff presents, I am ready for bed!

Peace,

-K

“The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from all four corners of heaven.”

-Martin Luther

I can’t believe twelve weeks has flown by so quickly.

My work week has been crazy in two and a half days. This last week is definitely a race to the finish. For the first time ever, I think I can honestly say this is one race I want to finish in last place. Of course, the last week means I have more to do than ever.

Monday was a hard day. I spent the whole day staring at a blank computer screen. My sermon needed to get done, but I just couldn’t find the words. It was the worst case of writer’s block I had ever had. My stress level kept rising, but my word count did not.

The evening got me back on track again. Monday night was the Ultimate Scavenger Hunt. There were four groups running all around Vancouver to different businesses. One stop was a pizza place where they played Caitlyn in Connect Four. Another was a putt putt golf place where they had a par three to get their next clue. The best part: each group had to go to a grocery store and try to convince the store to sell them one egg. Only one group managed to get the egg. It was kind of a cross between a scavenger hunt and the Amazing Race.

My favorite part was waiting at the park for different groups. When they would get there, I had two options for them: Brains or Brawns. The brains was to find me five matches in a match game of 100 cards. The Brawns was to run four laps. I always laugh when I think of the boys’ faces when they chose brawns and I told them to run laps.

After the groups did the matches or running, I gave them a bible crossword with the clue hidden in it. The boys were surprisingly fastest at it. I think it was because they had the pastor’s son on their team and they were too winded to argue.

The real part of the park I loved the most was getting the inspiration for my sermon! YAY!!! I knew that would happen. I always have the best writing inspirations late at night for some reason. Anyway, it meant Tuesday I could write my Sermon!

Or Not! Tuesday was so loaded I never had time to do it. The day started with staff meeting and lunch. The staff went around and told us their favorite memories of Caitlyn and I. It is hard to come to terms with leaving. I am content with this summer and what I have learned, but I want to stay and learn more!

The afternoon on Tuesday had more exit prep. Caitlyn and I had to do the exit interview with Freeman and Shirley. Those two are so awesome. It was good to hear that some of the previous interns had felt the same way about things as I did, and to get to go through a lot of my experiences. Freeman invited me back next year for the backpacking trip. I WILL BE THERE. I love going up in the mountains too much. It also provides an excellent excuse to visit Messiah and my family here again!

Tuesday night had my internship support committee. Half the group was gone, but I still had a lovely evening. They have provided so much for me in support and proccessing what I have been learning. I hope they will always have these groups because they were a definite highlight. We went for four hours. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I shed no tears, but I felt so at peace with the group. They are awesome, and I will sure miss them!

Wednesday is almost halfway done, and I have a lot to do. My sermon is done. YAY! Is it what I will actually use? Maybe. I am betting I will be editting it a lot over the course of the next couple days and will probably only use it as reference when I actually preach.

Now I need to go to a picnic, do our last college night, and go to a spiritual direction meeting! Time never stops in church work!

Peace,

-K

“Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.”

-The Eagles

So I spent most of the last week in the mountains, in case you were wondering why I wasn’t posting anything. I was on a church trip through the Willowa Mountains in Eastern Oregon. There were 14 of us in total for the six day, five night trip. Because writing out everything we did would take forever, I am going to hit some of the highlights.

First off, I LOVE BACKPACKING!!!! It is hard work, but so much fun. Camping was a favorite, but I think the only way to go is with a 35+ lbs pack on your back and climbing up to a mile high in the first day! There is something about being in nature like that that just touches your soul. I wanted to go back up the mountains almost as soon as we got out.

The big highlight was fellowship. When there are only fourteen people, you get to talk to everyone a good deal. I had so much fun hanging out with the young and the adults alike. Everyone got along really well. There was no one who stood to the outside or anything

My tent mate, Luke,  was the best. He is a sophomore in high school and full of questions and excitement about the world. It was fun just having long conversations with him about anything from time travel to faith. He was my hiking buddy for most of the days. We got to hike ahead by ourselves and just talk. I already miss our conversations at night. I will really miss pretending to be a bear and trying to scare Ron (He knew it was us).

My other hang out/hiking partner was Grace. She is on her way to Linfield College next year to play softball. She is one awesome woman. She kept her own with all the boys, didn’t complain at all about the hikes, being dirty, having to use a hole for a latrine, or the mosquitoes (okay, we ALL complained about those). Talking to her was a lot of fun because we got to talk about high school and college life. Since she is a sports person, we got to talk about that too. We talked briefly about things like faith, growing up, and money as you enter college. She has a great sense of humor and a fantastic smile and life. One night after a lightning storm, she was outside my tent with a flash light. Luke and I had been watching the lightning light up our tent, and when she walked by we pretended her flashlight was lightning. Without missing a beat, she caught on and gave us a few more flashes. 

There were also “the boys.” They were three juniors/seniors in high school. Those boys were always the leaders of the pack. They would get to each site way in advance. They were a lot of fun. All refused to wear sunscreen and bug spray. I am sure all regretted that decision. The fourth or fifth day they all had huge burns across their shoulders. Not exactly ideal if you are carrying a 35lbs pack. Thomas plays football, and we had some excellent sports conversations and what not. Riley was a lot of fun. He is going into his senior year. The last night Grace, Scott, Avis, and I (Luke was also present, but isn’t far enough into school) talked about running start vs. high school, looking at colleges, and other things a senior is interested in.

The adults were all great. Freeman is a crazy 73 (?) year old man who has been hiking those mountains for over 50 years! His knowledge about the area was astounding. I hope I get to be there for his last hike someday. He has already told people he wants his ashes spread up there. I couldn’t think of a more beautiful place for that.

Scott was also great. Kind of the father figure of the trip. He was just a lot of fun to talk to (as was everyone). Ron was just a prankster. Jokes all the time (none of them good :P) and laughter that could reach a quarter mile (it did). Avis from my Intern Support Committee was there. Her brain is full of knowledge. I don’t know how she is so smart, but it is baffling. The rest of the adults were great to have around too. Richard, Tom, Eric, Jon are just delightful guys. I was so happy to get to spend the time with them.

Okay, now the highlights beyond people…

The mountains are beautiful. There was still snow in the higher spots, but it was amazing. I lost my breath more than once. The air is so crisp and clean, no light pollution at all, and the water in the lakes is like glass (and at night like a mirror). Anywhere we went you could see the bottom of every lake. Insane.

The sunsets were nearly perfect. I would say one of them even rivaled a Palouse sunset. 

We had a lightning storm on the third night. No one in the group, including lifer Freeman, had ever seen so much lightning at one time. Luke got some great pictures of bolts. After the storm passed, I have never seen so many stars. At 7900ft there is nothing to hide them. 

We all swam across Little Bear Lake. COLD!!! Like with almost all the lakes, the snow wasn’t in the water, but it was right to the edge. I went with Grace after “the boys” had done it. You could feel your heart slow down and muscles grow denser. Movement was suddenly hard. The lake was at most 25 yards across, but it felt a lot longer than that. 

Sunday service was perfect. It didn’t start off the way I wanted, but God took hold of it and made it great. With Freeman there, Scott and I talked him into doing communion. Scott always brings a water bottle full of wine and he also had pita bread. Freeman is a retired pastor, and as such could preside over communion. I can only think of one communion experience better than that one. It was the best wine I’ve ever had for communion and most certainly the best view. The sunset behind us was the icing on the cake.

We also had a really cool rainbow one evening. There was actually two. It had been raining on and off all evening; to the point almost everyone had gone into tents. The sun finally peaked out just before it set giving us a beautiful sunset and rainbow.

There were two times people swam in lakes that were ice cold. Both times they were in and out in ten seconds, but it took them three minutes to get in the water. Needless to say, I have it all on video.

Luke and Grace know musicals and music pretty well. We got to talk about a lot of that stuff too. I love having people who know a little theatre around!

Luke, Grace, and I also found Pride Rock. Needless to say, there are a few picture of us on it.

One day we hiked up to Hobo Lake and Lookout Peak. There was a lot of snow in the pass. We had to be extra careful because under the snow was a boulder field. We passed the time by having huge snowball fights along the way. Aug 1st is now my record for latest snowball fight in a year.

Anyway, Hobo was so cold the snow literally just went into the water. Avis wanted to go swimming, but we managed to convince her not to because no one had survival gear with them. We did go stand on the ice though (Scott wasn’t too happy about that one…). 

The lookout climb took us to 500ft above Mt St Hellens. We first tried rolling big rocks into Hobo Lake. SUCCESS!!! I have video evidence from up there too. The climb was hard, but worth it. We could see the campsite from where we were, and Freeman, who had gone back instead of going up with us, could see us. The climb down was steep, but again worth it. Grace and I hiked that one together. The conversation made it fly by.

The last night was the hardest and best. Scott, Eric, Avis, Luke, Riley, Grace, and I stayed up late just talking. None of us wanted the night to end. If the the fire went down, we would always build it up again. There were so many stars out that night. I even saw a meteor. 

I think the most important things I took out of the mountains were God’s love in creation of the sunsets/mountains/plants/everything and the fellowship. There is a bond created when you spend so much time with a small group of people. I missed it as soon as I got back to Vancouver. If you ever want to feel a connection with God, go up and backpack with a small group. You’ll never regret it.

On our way home, we stopped for food. Everyone ate way too much. I certainly did. The car ride back was a lot of fun. Grace, Avis, and I spent the first have talking about dogs, school, prom, and anything else that came to mind. The second half Avis read to us part of Hector and the Search for Happiness.

Grace has to read Hector for college. The book is a joke. I cannot believe it is an international best seller. The writing is so naive and vague. The most confusing part was that the moral seemed to be drink a lot of alcohol and have tons of sex. Not exactly the ideas I would want to put into the heads of incoming freshman. Anyway, Grace and I could not stop laughing the whole time Avis was reading. The book is great if you are just looking for a laugh, but is nothing if looking for content. I was simultaneously wanting Avis to stop because it was so bad and wanting her to continue because it was so funny. Her little additions really added to the story as well. I will have to find out how the book ends from Grace. I feel sorry she has to finish it.

Three days removed from the mountains and I still want to go back. Luke said he would invite me next year. I can definitely see me coming back for it again. The people are just amazing, the backpacking is spectacular, and I feel a sense of loss now that I am not with the group anymore. It is too bad I am leaving in a week. I would love to go back up again. Luke or Grace had better invite me back again!

My first day back was filled with stuff to do. I had a bunch of phone calls to make for Jessica, I had to talk to Peter about my sermon, and I had a hospital visit to go on! I was so busy I had to finish my work at home that night! First time I had ever seen a stroke patient before. I am learning now a pastor is both spiritual leader, nurse, doctor, carpenter, and a bit of everything else. 

Friday I went into the office briefly to do a bit more work (Don’t tell Jessica! Friday was my day off), and then I went to Tacoma to see my old friend Vanessa. We hadn’t seen each other in 5 years! It can’t be another five before we meet again. I missed her a lot. The six hours we spent together were not enough!

Anyway, I have one week left. Scary. I am not ready to leave. I preach this Sunday as well. Of course I get stuck with the last Sunday. Oh well. Maybe I will just lead another backpacking trip and stay a bit longer…

Peace,

-K

“And the end of all our exploring,

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.”

-T.S. Elliot

Last couple days haven’t been up to much. Just trying to plan some more stuff ahead of the backpacking trip because I am going to be crunched for time. 

Got my tent today and started the packing process. It is amazing how quickly a pack starts to fill up. All I have left is to get all my clothes packed up and get my lunches organized. I am well on my way. 

What free time I have had is being spent on getting my final sermon ready. I have read a lot of commentaries and have a couple ideas, but I am still a bit worried about it. The reading is the Canaanite Women and Her Faith from Matthew 15:21-28. Just pulling my hair out over it.

Haven’t had much else to do lately. It is kinda driving me crazy. I want to be busy, but lately there hasn’t been much for me to do. It is a lull period for me until after the backpacking trip. I wish I was a full time pastor so I could have a sermon to do every week and could visit people a bit more often. I just enjoy fellowship too much.

Not doing much means I get tired easier and get headaches faster. I don’t like it. My head was pounding almost all day today. My mood was down because of it too. Of course, that is being affected by the fast approaching end of the internship. I’m trying not to think about it, but it is hard not to because my last sermon is tied to the last Sunday. 

Caitlyn did a marvelous job to help me feel better today. It is good to have another intern around for that. 

Peace,

-K

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

-Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”

Title ideas aren’t exactly flowing right now. Not enough energy to come up with any ideas.

So I didn’t do a whole lot. Caitlyn dragged me off to LA Fitness for a class. I had spent the day before moving trees and concrete blocks and didn’t feel a thing. Go to one class and spend the next couple days feeling it.

Worship was nice on Saturday. I got roped into doing slides and lights. I only made one mistake, but I don’t think too many people noticed. Peter used all of my prayers for the service. They went well except for a portion that he messed up. They made sense to me, but when I looked back I could see how he got the wrong idea.

That night was a rough one. I didn’t have any trouble sleeping the night before my sermon. I think singing the Kyrie just got my nerves going.

My children’s sermon went really well. I did a pirate thing with chocolate coins. Kathy told me later I have a gift for kid’s sermons. Don’t know if that’s really true, but I have fun with them.

Being assistant minister went well too. Singing the Kyrie was a bit shaky, especially the first service, but I was happy with it. Aria went really well. People were saying it was moving and hit ‘em right were it counted. Good to know. One woman said it brought tears to her eyes. I don’t think it was that good, but I was satisfied with the performance.

A few people told me while I was shaking hands that I am going to make a great pastor; that I have the skill, presence, and mindset for it. Good to know people think that. It is hard to know if I am going the right way. Affirmation is always a good thing.

Had a quick backpacking meeting. Got all my stuff almost ready. Now it is just hurry up and wait time! Devotions are finished. We’re going to be reading 2 Timothy. I randomly came upon it while I wasn’t feeling good the other day. It is a really good book. Just gotta get the devotion material ready.

The afternoon Sunday was spent in Portland with some of Caitlyn’s friends. Nice group of people. One of them reminded me a lot of my brother Craig. Odd.

Caitlyn and I went for a walk in the evening. It was such a warm, gorgeous night. It was good to get away and just talk about stuff.

Today (Monday) has been a relatively relaxed day. Good thing too because I couldn’t sleep much last night. Prayer team said Sunday was beautiful, Monday Morning Group said I was marvelous through and through. They even gave me some composer Jeopardy questions. I didn’t even let them finish one of them before I gave my answer (although, as soon as you say “this composer’s ‘suprise,’” how could I not know who it was?).

I’ve spent the rest of the day just working on my devotions for backpacking, reading 2 Timothy again, selecting songs for the worship in the mountains (“Lord, I Lift Your Name On High,” “Seek Ye First,” “I, the Lord of Sea and Sky,” and “Hallelujah! We Sing Your Praises”), and reading stuff online.

Now I gotta start getting prepped for my last sermon.

Peace,

-K

No quote today, not finding any good ones.

I just can’t seem to keep up these last few days.

Thursday was a good day. I spent most of it finishing my children’s sermon, singing, and preparing prayers and backpacking devotions. I didn’t do much of anything else at work.

Thursday night was another Intern Support Committee meeting. It was funny that the people hosting that night left us in their house because they had to fly to Vegas for a convention. The meeting was really good. I was pretty tired going in. They all really helped me to process how I have been feeling the last few days, and it really helped to restore my center. Faith is the key.

Friday was supposed to be my day off. Instead of that I ended up working six hours. Caitlyn and I went to help dig out concrete blocks and transplant two Japanese maple trees. The project was a bit more than we thought. The tree we were moving to the church house was wrapped around a drain pipe and was right up against the building. Took a while, but we got it out of there. Then we had to prepare the hole for it. Meant a lot of ax work to get some roots out of the way. It had been a while since I had swung an ax overhead. We even pulled out a saw at one point to help out. 

We left the one tree to finish the other one. That one we just moved a little ways over to the other side of the courtyard. Then we got to shift more of the 80lbs blocks. Caitlyn did a wonder on those things. 

Tony, a landscaper, and I had to go get some 3-way soil for the tree we moved. We also had to repair a septic clean line. Lots of dirt moving. After we got the tree in, we took the dirt from the hole to the back yard. Going on hour six, you start to realize how tired your muscles are. moving wheelbarrows of 8 cu. ft. of earth is hard work. It was fun though. Lots of fun conversation, and I learned just how many concrete bricks fit in a wheelbarrow, how hard a blunt ax is to use, and how good it is to have good fellowship when working. The tree will hopefully survive. We did our best. 

Tomorrow, I am going to be feeling it.

The afternoon was spent at REI. I had a lot of stuff I needed for the camping trip. REI is not the place to go to spend a little amount of money. I spent a lot, but I got a lot of good stuff. Some of it will be useful for school next year. a lot of it will be useful for the next five years of camping or hiking. It was worth it. Just means I can keep working on building good credit!

Evening was a fun dinner with a few couples from Messiah. It was a good relaxing, delicious meal. I even had my first beer imported from the Czech Republic! 

For a day off where I worked a good portion of it, I really feel relaxed and better. I owe a lot to my ISC for helping process stuff last night, and to everyone I worked with today in just being around to talk to. 

God has an amazing plan for me. I know it is leading toward seminary more and more. There are times where I lose sight of that or question if it is really where I need to be headed, but God always brings me back to the path.

Ministry is an interesting field. One day I am reading the Bible and preparing prayers, the next I am visiting homes and doing pastoral care, or the next I am doing manual labor like moving trees and blocks. It is way too much fun. It is confusing at best, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Looked at the calender while I was planning for backpacking. three weeks left in this summer whirlwind. Next week I will be away from Robbie, Charlie, and Caitlyn. It is going to be weird leaving, coming back, and then leaving for good. I don’t really wanna think about it!

Peace,

-K

“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.”

-Tom Peters

Not much has been going on lately. Well, a lot has been going on, but a lot of it is just cramming of stuff.

Tuesday was supposed to be a semi short day. It started with a staff meeting. Caitlyn and I made that cheesecake, and the whole staff loved it. It was by far one of the best I’ve ever had. 

NCC meeting was next. Just mostly us listening to Lynda talk about what’s coming up for up there. It was a hard one to get through because I was tired. We got to sit in while David, Kathy, and Peter reviewed the first applications for David’s new assistant. David wants us to sit in on the interviews. I really want to because it is an experience I don’t think I would get otherwise. I won’t be around for the final hire, but it will be nice to listen in.

Tuesday afternoon I pounded out my prayers for Sunday. Found out afterward the ELCA changed the lectionary again. This is getting to be quite a nuisance. Too bad too. I really liked the reading from 1 Kings. It was really helpful for me personally.

Wednesday I missed yoga, but got to rehearse again with David. Aria went really well, and I was happy with the direction our voice rehearsal went. Canting is going to be a new experience. I hope I like it. More practice is definitely needed. Marty Haugen needs to stop writing complicated music (For those long-term Lutherans, this is not Feast and Celebration but a harder liturgy he wrote for Renewing Worship)!

Caitlyn and I helped Jessica take care of some cleaning, then it was prepare for backpacking time. I figured out my devotion stuff. I needed four days, and lo and behold 2 Timothy is four chapters! I was happy I stumbled upon it. Today was a day I really needed its message.

Caitlyn and I keep thinking a bit with the same brain. It is getting a bit freaky… Today I was thinking about my children’s sermon and looking for chocolate coins. Caitlyn saw and asked what I was doing with them. She wanted to use them too. Maybe we should just write these things together.

Another college night wrapped everything up. It was a really relaxed one. We went to Felida Park on a gorgeous evening. All of us just sat around, discussed theology and American patriotism, and played apples to apples. Good finish to a day. Just the break I needed.

To be frank (well, I’ll still be Kevin, but I am going to be honest), the last couple days have been kind of hard on me. I have been so tired that it is affecting my work. I can’t focus and feel like I am growing a bit cross. It has led me to question the quality of my work and just my work itself.

I asked God Tuesday night to help me move forward into Wednesday and to help me to listen for His voice. Well, he answered me. The morning was still rough, but I got to the office, sat down, turned on music, and had a bunch of songs in a row about my mood and about keeping your legs moving. Then I stumbled upon 2 Timothy. The answers are there if we listen. I am still feeling exhausted and am doubting at times, but God is reminding me that what I am doing is the right work, and that this internship has really exposed me more to Him and to where He is leading me.

Is it short? Guess not. Sorry I broke my promise!

Peace,

-K

“Make a decision, even if it’s wrong.”

-Jarvis Kelm 

There is way too much I need to get done this week. I am running out of days in the internship, and days in this week to get work done. Today was supposed to be a power work day. Guess not.

It started like a normal Monday morning. Caitlyn and I headed to prayer team and then off to Monday Morning Group. This is where the snag hit. With the construction about to start at Messiah, the deck in the courtyard had to go. The contractor could have done it, but some of the members wanted the wood. I was walking by, stopped to ask Dave how it was going, and then spent the next two hours helping them pull up boards/removing screws. The work was enjoyable. Manual labor is always fun to do. Dave and I made light work of it with our light conversation. Now I am contracted by him to help move 75-80lbs stones on Friday, my “day off.”

I would have stayed longer and helped them get the frame of the deck up (we had finished everything else by the time I left), but Mo needed Caitlyn and I to help finish up the VBS cleaning job. Taking down is much easier than putting up. Cutting down the signs that took us twenty minutes to put up each day was so gratifying! Mo bought us some lunch, which was good because I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. My calorie burning was high from the activity. We moved all the food, removed the final banners, and took down all the set pieces. 

When all was said and done, Caitlyn and I got back to the office with one hour left of work. That was not enough time to really do anything. I checked my email for the first time that day, created my To Do list for the week (still growing), and started looking at the readings for this week because I am writing the Prayers again! I got really excited to see the reading from Romans. It corresponds with one of my favorite Hymns, but David didn’t pick that one. Oh well.

So the week is going to be filled with Saxophone playing, sermon prep, backpacking prep, worship prep, cantor prep, children’s sermon prep, and a lot of other preps…

The evening was different. Caitlyn and I made a cheesecake for Pastor Kathy’s birthday tomorrow. In saying Caitlyn and I made it I really mean Caitlyn made it and I crushed graham crackers, melted butter and chocolate, and washed the dishes. I am just happy I got to be of some help. The cake looks amazing. It is white chocolate raspberry. Hope Kathy likes it. Even if she doesn’t, I sure will!

Caitlyn went off to LA Fitness tonight. While she was gone, I read some of the Bible. I was most interested in the explanations of the Gospels I was reading in my new Bible, The New Oxford Annotated Bible. IT IS SWEET! Karla has one, and I have been wanting it since I saw hers. The footnotes are really well thought out, and shed light on new things I have never thought about.

After reading a bit more (the Apocrypha books and their introductions), I decided to go ride my bike. I took it to a nearby school and just kept riding while listening to the Clumsy Lovers. It was really nice. I had almost finished an entire album when I realized I was the only person on the path anymore, the Sun was almost gone, and Caitlyn was texting me to find out where I went. I decided to head home a different way and got lost. Getting lost was an adventure. I made a game out of it. I finally found my way home after about ten minutes of riding around looking for a way out of this block I appeared trapped in. 

The adventure of riding and getting lost was a good one. I have been trying to focus a lot on my path and where I am going lately. The trail around the school was my path tonight. I spent the whole hour and twenty minutes thinking about the internship and my relationships with God and the people in my life. It was mind clearing, and boy did I need it. When I got lost, I left the path. But I didn’t really leave it. God was still with me and in my thoughts. If anything, He was pushing me to leave the paved path; to leave the safety of the loop, and try to find a new way and follow his way. I did.

Now I am on my bed with sore muscles. Tomorrow is not going to be a fun morning…

Peace,

-K

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

-Mark Twain 

Sunday was a tiring day, but good. It was hard to get going. I am not caught up from VBS yet.

The morning started with bells an whistles. Literally. I had to go over to the church house to make copies, but accidentally set of the alarm system. David told me what to do if that happened. I got to a phone, the protection people called, and they shut it off. Still embarrassing though. I was planning to go to the 8am service, but all the fun meant I missed it. 

I got to do pre-worship fellowship instead. It was fun talking with people. There is a couple new to the congregation in which the wife is an ELCA pastor. She was a blast to talk with. I found out she had spent time in Israel on Business with the church and with her husband’s work. Apparently their friend is the mayor of Jerusalem. It made me really want to go there on Young Adults in Global Mission. I hope I can do that someday!

Caitlyn and I went to worship up at North County with a bunch of youth. We had a leadership thing up there with them. First we moved tables, then had…PIZZA. I can’t believe I am saying this, but I am sick of pizza.

After the meal, we did a fun game where we wrote compliments on the backs of people around us. It was fun to share those with kids. The conversation was a lot of fun. I just wish we had had more time.

For dinner we went to a Newcomers’ meeting. Peter is a great speaker, and his zeal for ministry is just amazing. I took so many notes of what he was saying about Messiah. I am really getting an amazing view of what it means to have a living church. So many church has decay, but Messiah is charging forward at light speed. This church is just so exciting, and I am truly blest to be here. I cannot imagine jumping into ministry without it. This has been such an eye opening experience. Thanks, Karla, for getting me into this!

Robbie and Charlie are home again. It is nice to have a full house. Robbie, Caitlyn, and I were talking about weeks left. I realized I have to do worship this Sunday, am backpacking the next one, there is the 7th, and then I preach and we’re done. Scary. It will be hard to finish this gift of a summer!

Peace,

-K

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

-John Lennon